One of the oldest and most cherished forms of poetry, the limerick has been around for centuries. Long before his sonnets and plays made him famous, Shakespeare was paying his bills writing limericks for tourists. Sadly and unfortunately the Shakespearean limerick was lost along with his early attempts at gangster rap.

Luckily for us, other drunken bards have taken up the limerick and passed it down through the ages. We’re left with such classics as ‘There Once Was A Man From Nantucket.’

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

So - if you’re feeling particularly creative today and are looking to write something that will last through history, here you go:

How To Write A Limerick

1. The limerick consists of 5 lines of verse, with a rhyming scheme of AABBA.

2. Lines 1, 2, & 5 each consist of 7 to 10 syllables and all rhyme (A).

3. Lines 3 & 4 have 5 to 7 syllables each and rhyme with each other (B).

4. The limerick is one form of poetry that is particularly known for being bawdy, lewd, and crude. So what this means for you is that really no topic is off limits.

5. We could get into stresses and which syllables to place them on, but seeing as how the majority of How2Blogger’s readers are above average, we’ll keep this really simple. Follow the rhyme scheme and the number of syllables and you should be alright - with limerick writing at least.

So - good luck with your efforts, feel free to leave your best attempt at a limerick in the comments. And I’ll leave you with 3 quicky examples that I wrote while going potty today.

There once was a blogger named Beth,
Who worked her poor fingers to death.
Her boss was a tard,
Boob sniffer in her yard,
It seems West Virginia’s all on Meth.

In South Texas lives a blogger named Karen.
Whose a little bit fond of swearing.
Her cat likes to pee pee
All over her little tee pee
I would have run him over with my ‘88 Chrysler Lebaron.

There once was a dude named Jason.
Who blogs and likes to poke fun.
It seems he likes apes,
Some sushi, maybe grapes?
And sometimes buys whale blubber by the ton.

Well kids, it’s Monday night, almost Tuesday and since it’s almost Tuesday I thought it was a perfect time to post a shot recipe.

I’m mainly an occasional beer drinker - I don’t get out of hand too often, sometimes on my birthday. Sometimes St. Patrick’s day when my friend convinces me it’s a good idea to shoot 5 Irish Car Bombs in a half hour because, well, my name is Patrick. It sounded like a good idea, though I’m not so sure it was. Let’s just say vomiting and then slipping and falling in your own vomit is not a good time, even if your name is Patrick. College - oh the memories.

Img Credit: theotherway

Anyways - since I’ve become somewhat of a wuss as I’ve progressed in age, I’ll occasionally partake in a nice little fruity shot. And one of my favorite little fruity shots is the Washington Apple.

So get out the shaker and ice, dust off that shot glass you bought in Vegas because like I said, it’s almost Tuesday.

Ingredients:

• 1/3 oz. Crown Royal
• 1/3 oz. Cranberry Juice
• 1/3 oz. DeKuyper Sour Apple Pucker
• A splash of 7-up

1. Put some ice in your cocktail shaker.

2. Add the Crown, Cranberry, and Apple Pucker.

3. Shake it up.

4. Strain it into a shot glass.

5. Add a splash of 7-up.

6. Don’t fall over.

Cheers!

Aside from the occasional stalker, there haven’t been too many times that I’ve found myself being followed. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be ready for the situation and be prepared to recognize if somebody is following you. There are several methods you can use to determine if you are in fact being followed.

That being said, you should also know that there will be times when it will be more likely that you are being followed. So if any of the following scenarios apply to you, then yes, that guy with the sunglasses and ball cap is most likely tailing you.

Have you recently:

• Taken photos of somebody with the intent of using said photos in a blackmail scheme?
• Come into an enormous sum of money (in cash form)?
• Had an affair?
• Set your partners up to take the fall while you get away (with the cash)?
• Cut somebody off in traffic that really just took it way too personal?
• Sold classified secrets to a rogue state?

If you’ve answered yes to any of these statements, then it’s quite possible that you are being followed. If you answered no, that doesn’t mean you are in the clear - you should still consider employing the following maneuvers and tactics to determine if you are in fact being followed.

How To Determine If You Are Being Followed While Driving

1. If the suspected car is a Ford Crown Victoria - then stop right here, because you are being followed.

2. If it’s not a Crown Vic, then we’re going to have to do a little detective work and observe the suspected car following you using your mirrors as you make 3 or 4 turns.

3. If after multiple turns the suspect vehicle is still behind you, signal one direction and abruptly turn the opposite direction.

4. If the car is still following you, it’s now probably safe to assume that they are following you.

How To Determine If You Are Being Followed While On Foot

1. First, you don’t want your tail to know that you are onto them, if in fact they are tailing you. So avoid turning around to look at them. To observe and gain details about them (height, weight, clothing, etc…) try to use reflective surfaces like shop windows and doors. Even better is if you own a pair of ’spy glasses’ that have the mirrors on the outside edge so that you can see behind you. These can be obtained through various brands of cereal or sometimes in a surveillance store. If you answered yes to any of the questions in the previous list, than these might be a good investment for you.

2. Begin walking in an erratic path - like the driving scenario - by making a few turns or crossing the street (not at a crosswalk).

3. Head into a store and see if they follow you.

4. While you are trying to determine if you are being tailed, remain in public places and avoid such pitfalls as dark alleys or abandoned warehouses.

5. If you’ve altered your path consistently and observed the person following you for some time, then it’s probably safe to assume that they might be following you.

6. If you do turn around and they quickly raise a newspaper as though they are reading - this is a dead giveaway of a tail.

Once you’ve determined that you are being tailed you can begin evasive maneuvers to lose your tail. Luckily for you dear reader, I have quite a bit of experience in following and being followed which I will be sharing in a future article. So in the meantime - practice these techniques as they might one day help you to determine if you are being followed.

This post was guest written by BetShopBoy of you guessed it, BetShopBoy.net. Be sure and take notes as there will be a quiz, kids.

The start of a New Year is a time many people pause to take stock and reflect on their actions, accomplishments and failures over the past 12 months. It is also a time where many people, hoping to make a fresh beginning, set their New Year resolutions.

The problem with making resolutions is that good intentions get derailed within a few weeks when the “novelty” factor dies down and the resolutions become wishful thinking. While some people follow through with their plans and achieve their goals, many of us are stuck revolving, resolving, and re-solving those problems whose solutions have eluded us in the past.

Make your resolutions for 2008 different, make them count!

Img Credit: .Gladius

Here are some pointers on how to go about setting your resolutions:

Pause and take stock of all the good and the bad that has happened over the past 12 months.

Reflect and think through carefully about what you would like to change. Don’t set yourself up for failure by drafting a long list of “should-dos” that you won’t take seriously anyway.

Take time to plan and set SMART goals:

• S - Specific
• M - Measurable
• A - Achievable
• R - Realistic
• T - Time line

Avoid repeating a previous resolution (whether it’s achieved or not). For instance, I resolve to fulfill last year’s resolutions!

Img Credit: Abulic Monkey

The following tips might provide a good starting point for drafting your blogging resolutions for the New Year:

I will expand my social network and strengthen existing relationships.

I will take control of the blog’s performance.

I will find a mentor or become one.

I will learn more (HTML, social media, writing style etc.).

I will have a better work-blog-life balance.

I will back-up my blog religiously!

Make this year the year you make good on your New Year’s resolutions so that you can say “I did” rather than “I should have” at the end of the year.Author: BetShopBoy recently wrote about a blogger’s worst nightmare when he discovered his blog was down during the holidays. Take note and learn from his experience!

Well, since I decided to start 2008 without posting for a week - I thought it best to go back to bribing my readers to stick around. So, as we get back into our regularly scheduled programing, I’m going to be joining a few other super duper blogs in offering my readers another $100 smackers.

Now, unlike my last ’super sexy’ contest in which I required readers to either write a ‘How To’ post or sign over their first born, you’ll have a few simple options to enter the new January ‘Super Duper’ Contest

Which Super Duper Blogs Are Involved In This Super Duper Contest?

These Super Duper blogs are:

• JoeTech.com
• Link Bait
• Gorilla Sushi
• Mixed Market Arts
• CK Marketing
• The Big Bald Blog
• How2Blogger

As you can see - it’s probably one of the most powerful groups of blogs ever assembled. In fact, I’m pretty sure it is. And don’t quote me on this - but I think we might be throwing our collective hat into this year’s presidential race.

How Do I Enter This Super Duper Contest!?

That’s easy.

You can enter by doing any or all of the following options. Plus, you can do it for any or all of the blogs involved to increase your entries! Holy Crap!

• Subscribe to any or all of the RSS feeds for the blogs involved via email. (If you already subscribe - use a new email and delete at the end of the contest - brilliant, eh?) - 2 Entries
• Leave a comment of value (more than ‘I agree’ or ‘You suck’ (though I do appreciate those as well)) - 1 Entry
• Write a post about this contest on your blog. Include a link to this post as well as links to the other participating blogs - 25 Entries (Holy Crap!)

That’s it! I told you it would be easy, right? Oh yeah - be sure to leave a comment right here so I can keep track of your entries.

The deadline is 12:00 AM February 1, 2008, but I suggest you get it done earlier - as you might be doing something important on the 31st and you wouldn’t want to be left out of all the fun, right?

Awesome. So get to it and good luck!